|Image from the OB Rag|
"We'll probably see each other in heaven before Easter comes."
A strange thing to say to a 12-year-old. I think she meant to be comforting, but it put me under a lot of pressure. Christ could return at any moment. Will you be ready when the rapture comes?
Stuff like that can really mess you up.
During the last years of my grandmother's life her mental state deteriorated. We stopped phoning her because as soon as she said hello she thought she'd been talking for a hour and would hang up. "Hello, how are you. It was sure nice talking to you but I better let you go now." It took the nurses considerable effort to get her over to the phone for these 30 second conversations. She believed we called her every day and talked for hours. It's uncomfortable to say this, but she was never happier or easier to be around than when she wasn't really all there.
She's been gone a while now, and still no rapture.
C.J. and I share the responsibility for yesterday's near rapture experience. According to the church officials who predicted it, one of the major reasons for the rapture is the increasing acceptance of homosexuality. Gay marriage will bring about the end of days. Ask anyone.
When C.J. and I married we were promised incredible disasters would result. Earthquakes, wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, riots and revolution. We took this as public acknowledgement of our love's incredible power. It's been a bit of a disappointment so far. All we really got was a collapse in home prices and prolonged unemployment. That's been rough, but we were promised fire reigning down from the sky.
There is still hope. Marriage equality is currently before the legislature in the state of New York. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has been making special trips to Albany to lobby Republican legislators, hoping to win votes for a marriage equality bill coming up this month.
If he succeeds, the rapture is sure to follow.
Same time next year?
Meanwhile, in other news.....
I heard from my district officially this week; I'll be teaching at one of the remaining middle schools next year, probably sixth and seventh grade English and history again. Now I that I know where I'll be and that the latest rapture is another dud, I can start planning for the fall.