For a change of pace, Sandy at
You’ve GOTTA Read This and I decided to cast the screen adaptation of Stephen King’s novella
Blockade Billy instead of writing traditional reviews.
Blockade Billy is a story from the golden age of baseball. Billy arrives fresh from the farm and takes his minor league team by storm. The team’s aging pitcher takes young Billy under his wing in an attempt to ride the gifted cathcer’s shirttail to the major leagues. The crusty general manager and the fatherly third base coach watch young Billy’s rise, unaware of the dark secret he harbors. This is Stephen King country in the end.
My casting calls:
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| Corey Monteith |
Corey Monteith as Blockade Billy Blakely. Corey Monteith, who currently plays the role of Finn Hudson on television's
Glee, is the epitome of small town, Midwestern American farm boy. Just look at him. He can pull off the aw-shucks gee-whiz corn fed innocence of the young ball player fresh off the farm. He has not done anything yet to prove himself capable of playing a character with a dark side, but that is a mark in his favor. The audience must be shocked by the final reveal. No one would suspect Finn Hudson was ever capable of hurting anybody, just like no one suspected Blockade Billy.
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| Eli Wallach |
Eli Wallach as the team’s general manager Joe DiPunno. Eli Wallach could have played all the parts at some point in his career, but now, he’s perfect for DiPunno. Few actors can play crusty with a heart of gold as well as Eli Wallach. King’s characterization of DiPunno is very close to stereotype, but an actor as capable as Eli Wallach can use that to deliver a scene stealing performance.
Mr. Wallach is getting a lifetime achievement Oscar this year, which can only bring prestige to the production. Blockade Billy should be a prestige King movie, along the lines of Shawshank Redemption or Stand By Me, since there are no supernatural elements in the story. Think The Natural with a murder at the end. The presence of one Oscar winner in the cast only serves to bring the Academy’s attention to the rest of the actors when nomination time rolls around. And we may be able to get some of the other actors to settle for scale for the chance to work with a legend like Eli Wallach. If we’re aiming for acting Oscars, we’re going to have to keep a low budget.
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| Tim Roth |
Tim Roth as the pitcher Danny Dusen. Tim Roth has proven he can bring the washed out edge to his performance that this character needs. While he’s not altogether unsympathetic, Danny Dusen is close to an overt villain. He tries to use Billy as his ticket to the majors and happily attempts to corrupt the young ball player. Roth is a brave enough actor to play someone devious enough to use young Corey Monteith for his own advancement. He can play someone the audience hates but still feels a little sorry for in the end.
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| Kevin James |
Kevin James as the third base coach Granny Gantham. Kevin James is known as a comedic actor, so we could probably get him on the cheap if we promise him a prestige dramatic production. The role calls for an everyman, average Joe type who has lived past his promising youth. Basically, all Kevin James would have to do is be a believable nice guy, and he has that down pat. He also has a male fan base so he could bring in that audience, while Roth and Wallach bring in a more art house crowd and Corey Monteith brings in the date-night teenage set. All four could make for an excellent date movie.
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| Kellan Lutz |
Sandy has selected Kellan Lutz for the title role of Billy Blakely. Mr. Lutz’s claim to fame is portraying Emmet Cullen in the
Twilight series. This is sure to draw some viewers, as Sandy says, but I think it’s also sure to drive others away. At this point Twilight is a double edged sword. Mr. Lutz may bring in young women, but as soon as young men hear “Twilight” they’re going to head for the door. Mr. Monteith has a similar problem since he’s from
Glee, but
Glee is not nearly as famous as
Twilight. I’m also going to argue that Mr. Monteith is the much more wholesome of the two. Mr. Lutz looks like he has a dark secret, so it won’t surprise the audience. They already know he’s a vampire. Mr. Monteith looks like he’s never had an impure thought. He’s certainly never sucked anyone’s blood.
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| Mark Wahlberg |
Sandy likes Mark Wahlberg for the role of Danny Dusen. I see Danny Dusen as a snake in the grass. While Mr. Wahlberg can probably pull this off, I prefer Mr. Roth in the role. Danny Dusen has a flamboyant, outspoken edge to him that Tim Roth is better suited for. Dusen talks a lot. Mark Wahlberg is best when he is quietly intense. It's somehow easier to believe him when he's not talking.
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| Leonardo DiCaprio |
Leonardo Di Caprio as third base coach Granny Gantham is just not going to work for me. While I can appreciate Sandy’s desire to see him in baseball pants, I just don’t see anyone believing he really knows the game. Kevin James looks like a guy who knows baseball. It’s easy to believe a new player, even a seasoned one, would look to coach Kevin James for advice. Coach Leonardo DiCaprio? I’m not buying it. Overall, Sandy’s cast is too pretty. If we want to make a believable baseball movie we’ll need a sufficient number of non-pretty actors to create authenticity. If we want a prestige production that will win awards we can’t have a cast as pretty as Sandy’s. I know. But it’s true. Pretty actor’s don’t get Oscars unless they make themselves look ugly.
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| Tommy Lee Jones |
As for Tommy Lee Jones as general manager Joe DiPunno, Sandy is absolutely spot-on. If we can’t get Eli Wallach, who will probably have lots of offers now that he’s finally getting an Oscar, we should get Tommy Lee Jones. He'd be terrific.
So, Hollywood, if you’re out there, we’ve already made the tough decisions for you. Give Mr. King a call. Bring
Blockade Billy to the big screen.
To read more about Sandy’s choices go to
You’ve GOTTA Read This.
6 comments:
I don't hear anybody on my side complaining about my pretty, sexy cast! And just so you know, it pains me to cast Leo on anything because I used to mock him. But he is good. You can rough him up and put a belly on him if you want (he's still going to rock those tight little pants), but he is so method that if you tell him to know baseball, then he will. This was fun. Love your snark! Now will Uncle Stevie take notice?
Beware casting an Englishman (Roth) in a film about baseball. It's hard to un-teach those cricket mechanics.
Easier to believe Mark Wahlberg when he's not talking...ha ha! Love that bit of snark. I am not Leo DiCaprio's biggest fan, so no problem not having him in the cast, but I will take Tommy Lee Jones over Eli Wallach. Wallach is one of the all-time greats, but he really is too old for this one (from the sound of it). Of course, it would help if I had actually read Blockade Billy--which you and Sandy have made me wish to do! Your devious plot to make a diehard King fan of me is working... ;)
I love "casting" books. I used to do this with read-alouds for my ESL students to help them follow the plot. The hardest one was the On the Run series (kinda like "24" for kids). The bad guy is a bald, shade wearing bald guy but used to be a straggly-haired guy they knew. So you need two pix of the same actor but it can't be too obvious it's the same actor. It took some digging, but it worked out with Bruce Willis (who my elementary students aren't all that familiar with).
I have no problem with Leo knowing baseball - he is a terrific actor and I think he could pull off anything. However, he has too much of a baby face giving him too young and appearance for a coaching role - Kevin James too. How about John Cusack? He's everyman. He is also popular with the ladies. He has done drama and been in a King based film before. And he's got baseball acting background from Eight Men Out.
I'd nominate Shia LaBeouf in the lead role. Not a fan of Twilight or Glee. He's a young but seasoned actor who can draw at the box office and play sweet or sly.
Sandy, Your comment cracks me up. I so want to do this again sometime.
Mr. Brame, Interesting point. I'd hate to resort to long shots and a body double.
ds, It's a fun, quick read. Good for a hour, maybe two. It was fun being free to snark away.
Jim R., I think that's a great idea, casting the class book. I may "borrow" it for my GATE students.
The Bumbles, John Cusack would probably work. I still think we need some actors who'll appeal to a male audience. There are no women in the story, so we need a couple of actors the guys will pay to watch.
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